Why Your Own Brand Feels Hardest

Amy Dardis 0:12

And I'm your host, Amy Dardis. And in this episode, we are diving into why it's so hard to clarify and communicate your own brand. So if this is the first time you're joining us, I am a brand strategist and I have been clarifying brands for the last 15 years and I've gotten really, really good at it. It is something that is a unique gifting of mine. However, even though I've had tons of practice, even though I'm really good at being able to draw out people's stories and help businesses tell their brands, the hardest brand I have ever worked with is my own. And it's taken me a long time to actually be comfortable admitting that out loud, but learning how to tell this story was actually a huge aha moment. And it was a huge breakthrough moment in my own brand and in how we show up. So a little bit of the backstory is my husband and I started a web design agency back in 2011. And we really had no idea what we were doing as far as starting a business or growing a business, but it was just trial by fire and figuring out as we went, which is the case for most entrepreneurs I've met. And along the way, I found that I was really good at asking questions and I would sit down with a business and I needed to find out how to tell their story, what the content needed to be, how to lay out their website in a way that accurately reflected their brand. So we used to actually ask businesses to provide their content, but we found that this was actually the biggest sticking point. This was the biggest bottleneck and frustration that businesses themselves had a really hard time being able to give us the content we needed because when they had to sit down and actually write out and explain who they were, what made them different, what they did, why customers should choose them, that was really hard for them to put into clear and simple words. But it was easier for us to do that because we were this outside perspective. Like we knew nothing about their brand most of the time when we first sat down with them. And so we would sit down and with a fresh perspective, with a clean slate, with not being ingrained in their own business, we would just start to ask questions like, How did you get started? And what made you start this business? And what do you do and how do you help? And we would just pull out these elements of their story and be able to objectively see this big picture of who they were as a brand. And so we could filter through all the noise and be able to tell the story and put it into clear and simple words and actually define this brand. But the problem is when we went to do it for ourselves, when we went to write our own website, when we went to write our own marketing messages and campaigns, it was just utter confusion. It was just back and forth trying with this angle, trying this angle,

The Content Bottleneck In Web Design

Amy Dardis 3:40

trying to see what worked, what didn't. And there was just all kinds of internal chaos and confusion, which is exactly what our clients experienced as well. And so I started picking up on this. I'm like, okay, it's not just us and it's not just them. Like this really is a root issue that so many businesses struggle with because it's not something we often stop and sit down and be like, why do I do what I do? Why would someone choose me if I had to say it in one sentence without writing a vision statement or a mission statement and sounding good? Like if I were to just say it for what it is, why would I tell someone to choose me? What makes me different than the agency down the road, than the HVAC company down the road, than the landscaping business down the road? These service businesses where we all are selling essentially the same thing. A lot of our clients get their software and their equipment and their supplies from the same manufacturers as their competitors. I know when I was in the gas and welding industry, that's exactly what happened. We all bought from Miller and Lincoln and Hypotherm, and we sold the same products at the same price, and we got the same gas molecules from the same ASU plants. And so there was nothing different in what we sold. So we couldn't say, oh, you should choose us because this is what we do, because our competitors did the exact same thing. The difference was in how we did it. And how we did it was based on our leaders and our people and what we believed and our internal processes that drove how we operated and how we made decisions. Same in the website world. There's so much competition with who do you get your website from? Well, we're all building with a lot of the same builders and back end, whether using WordPress or Duda or Webflow or even AI now. It's like it's not about the platform or what it is that we're delivering. It really is how we're doing it and giving a customer a clear and compelling reason to choose us over someone else that doesn't have to do with price. So the big issue was that we were unclear about the things that made us unique. And we were kind of afraid to tell our own story. Like we wanted to come across as the best and professional, and we wanted to say what other people were saying because we thought that's what customers wanted. And so, because of that, there was always a disconnect in our marketing and in our messaging, and honestly, how we felt as owners. Like we always felt like we had this imposter syndrome of like, man, I'm not different enough. And when I try to say all these things that everybody else is saying, it doesn't sound right and it doesn't feel right. And so the problem is it it really comes down to a couple of things. So, like the main thing is that as the owner in your own business,

Differentiation Lives In How You Work

Amy Dardis 7:10

you are trying to read the label from inside the bottle. And you're deeply ingrained, you're deeply entrenched into your business, your knowledge level and expertise level of what you know is so different and so far away from where your customers are at or even where a new employee is at. And so it's really hard to remember how far away that is and to actually communicate in a clear and simple way that meets them where they're at instead of where you're at. And then it's really easy to get stuck because it's us trying to make these decisions. It's us trying to be objective about ourselves and about our business when because we're so deeply ingrained, it's almost impossible to be objective because we are our own worst critic. And there's too many doubts, there's too many demons, there's too many uncertainties and questions that keep us from being able to step back and see ourselves the way other people see ourselves. Which is why it was so easy for me to look at any brand, any person, any business, and asking questions, I could paint a picture in my head of this business and I could see what made them great, and I could see what made them unique and different and the personality and the character and the attributes that made them who they are. And I was able to hone in on that and pull that out. But when I do that for myself, for my own business, I'm like, oh, I'm not, I want to be that, but I'm not that. Am I that? Is that really how I come across? Or I think I come across this way, but in reality, we come across differently and we have this blind spot. And then there's no one outside to be like, you're good. Yes. Yes, this is how you come across. Yes, this is how I see you. And you're you are different because of that. A lot of times it's harder for us to see the own value that we bring than it is to see the value in other people. And for most of the clients we work with, we're working with established businesses. So we're working with business owners who have been doing what they've been doing for a long time. They have teams, they have processes and equipment and employees, and they've been ingrained in the trenches for a long time, and they've completely forgot what it's like to be brand new and to know nothing about what you do. And if you think about it, most of your customers don't know at all what you do or how the industry works because that's not where their mind is. And so they're actually hiring you or looking to you because you're the expert, because you're the professional, but that doesn't mean that they can connect or understand you on that same level. And in the book Building a Story Brand by Donald Miller, he has this really great metaphor or example that explains that your industry level of expertise is at like a level 10 and your customers and audience and even new employees are at like a level two understanding. And when we try to simplify our messaging and we try to come down, we might be able to go from like a 10 to a six, but that's not far enough. There's there's still that gap between where we really need to be at in order to be able to communicate in a clear and simple way at a level where people actually are. And then you add on top of that, that there's all kinds of distractions and there's all kinds of other people vying for their attention on every single front in their life. And you have your competitors who are saying the same thing. And if you're in a service-based business and they need someone to come and do their landscaping project, well, chances are they're not just looking at one company, they're looking at two or three, and they're comparing services and benefits and features and pricing, and they're looking at which one should I choose? And so our job as a brand in marketing and setting ourselves apart is to give people a clear, compelling, and simple reason to choose us. And that reason

Clarity Comes From Story Not Hype

Amy Dardis 12:05

has to be so clear and so simple that as soon as people hear it, they're like, Yes, that's what I want, that's what I need. And it has to be different and set apart from what other people in the industry are saying, from what other competitors are saying. So the question is, how do we actually do that? And there's good news to this. So over the years, through doing this with all kinds of different businesses and industries, I've helped real estate agents that really do the exact same thing and found across different agents and different brokerages, they all do it differently and for different reasons, and they have different approaches and they have different styles. And the answer is actually found within our story, and understanding your brand is about clarifying, it's not about creating. So anytime I sit down with a business owner, I am looking at what has shaped you up until this point? What has led you to where you are today? And we're looking at why did you start the business that you started? What were the issues you faced? What were the experiences that led you to that decision? And then as a leader, what are the things that you have learned along the way? And we're looking at how you think as a person, we're looking at how what you value as a person. I'm looking at your personality and your characteristics and just your attributes and how you communicate. I'm looking at all these things because uh what sets you apart in the market has to do with you being your authentic self and understanding that who you are as a leader directly impacts the decisions that you make. And that affects who you hire, it affects how you treat people, it affects

Three Realtors Three Totally Different Brands

Amy Dardis 14:15

how you lead your business. And all of those things tie into the experience that your customers have with you. So, in the example of the real estate agents, so we have one agent that we've worked with who's very direct, like he is no nonsense, he is not soft around the edges, like he is just he's gonna tell it to you straight and you're going to appreciate his brutal honesty. And he is very riled up about how mortgage companies structure loans and how there's all kinds of hidden fees. And he wants his clients to make really smart financial decisions that serve them and so that they don't have the lid pulled over their eyes and they don't get screwed over. He gets fired up and passionate about that. When you make a big financial decision, like buying a house, he wants you to look at all of the numbers across the board and he wants you to make a decision that is based on something that is going to serve you financially well and smart for the long term. And he's going to use the process and the relationship to educate you on why you should or shouldn't do something. And he's not just looking at the house you're buying, but he's also looking at what loan are you using, which company are you using, which title company are you using. And he's gonna add up all the fees and help you make the best decision that you can. And that is what he brings to the table. That is how he helps his customers buy and sell their houses. I have another real estate agent who is very relationship driven. He is very much looking to add value in every interaction that he has. So he's not so much looking at it on the financial side, but he's looking at it on the relationship side. And he wants to be a real estate agent that you can trust, that you know is going to have your back, he's gonna make it a good experience, he's going to communicate with you along the way. And he's very creative, like he has this out-of-the-box type of thinking. And so when it comes to marketing real estate, he is on the cutting edge of doing that. He tries all kinds of cool and fun and unique things. And if you follow him on social media, you see that he's constantly doing different things and he's doing giveaways and he's supporting local businesses and he's using his kids and he's using lots of video and he's using humor. And he really brings a lot of creativity and innovation into how he works with his customers. And then we have another real estate client who looks at buying and selling real estate as like this is a huge life decision, and it's oftentimes prompted by life events. So it's prompted by people getting married, it's prompted by people getting divorced, it's prompted by families expanding and needing to go get into a bigger house. It's prompted by families downsizing and their kids moving away and them becoming empty nesters. It's prompted by families needing to put a parent into an assisted care living and needing to sell the house. So they're not looking at the transaction itself. They are looking at what is happening in life. What are those life events that are actually prompting this experience and knowing that there's a lot of care, there's a lot of empathy, there's a lot of support that they provide in guiding people through these different life experiences. And so you have three different agents, and I actually have more examples, and they're all different. I mean, that was one of the coolest things is I worked with all these different real estate agents and brokers and saw that they all help you buy and sell real estate, and there's not a lot of wiggle room there in the what, but in how and why they did it. They were all completely unique. And a lot of it was tied to the personality and the wiring of the person themselves, which then affected how they showed up in business. So we pulled these stories out of them and then we focused on each of these different attributes on their websites and their marketing, and it drove what the website looked like, what it sounded like, what it felt like, and it attracted that type of person who is going to value that experience. And so that's where this authenticity portion really comes into is understanding a business really does come back to understanding who you are as a person. Like, are you this direct no-nonsense type of person? Or are you someone who is very relational and has a lot of humor and you make people feel comfortable? Or are you someone who's very empathetic and understanding and supportive and enjoys helping people through difficult situations? Like that part of it is going to affect how you treat your customers, what you value as a business, and even into the employees that you hire and how you lead your business, how you manage them, how you coach them, what you teach them is important when you show up to serve a customer, when you show up on a job site. That all comes from you and your brand. So bringing this around full circle when I was seeing how all these pieces came into play with the gas and welding distributor that I worked at and the clients that I helped and the clients that did the same thing. Like if you're a home builder, how does the way that you build homes change compared to the way these other outfits build homes and the type of environment that you have and looking at the real estate agents? And I was looking at all of these examples, and it was this clear conviction and this clear slap in the face of okay, what I need to do is go through the exact same process that I take my customers and clients through.

Owning Our Story And Finding Alignment

Amy Dardis 20:55

And it is a lot harder to do it for yourself. It really helps to have outside perspective looking at your life from the outside in. And so I've reached out to friends and people that I know and trust and been like, okay, this is what I'm thinking, this is what I'm seeing as our story. Can you affirm that for me? Can you, you know, can you give me an objective perspective and tell me if I'm on the right track or not? But what I did is I looked at our story. I looked at all the different clients that we've helped, the lessons that we've learned along the way, the things that we value. I looked at my unique gifting, I looked at Josh's unique gifting, I looked at what we value and how we treat people and what really matters to us. And I started to write out our story of what it had been like to be in business for 15 years and looking at that and then pulling out the themes and then also just over. Owning our story and starting to embrace our own story of like, okay, I have to share that. I have to be willing to share the real story. It's not about what I know, it's about what I've been through and how that changes how we approach what we do. And if I'm not ever willing to share that, I'm not ever giving people a clear and compelling reason to choose me. And so that all came back to this idea of we are all about helping people find clarity in their brand and how they operate so that they can give people a clear reason to choose them for the right reasons and giving employees a clear reason to choose you, giving customers a clear reason to choose you because it comes back to being authentically who you are. It's understanding your own story, it's understanding the experiences that have shaped you, it's understanding what guides you, what motivates you, and pulling that to the surface and making that the most compelling reason of why someone should trust you, of why someone should choose you. And then knowing because there's alignment there, because you're communicating clearly, because you're communicating in a way that there's personality and life and heart and story there, it gives them a reason to be like, that's me, and I resonate with that. I align with that. Or no, I'm looking for something different. So if you're the person who's looking to buy and sell a house, how do you know which realtor to go with? Well, what do you want in your experience? What do you value? Do you want the guy who's gonna be no nonsense and really focus on your financial well-being and help you look at all of the different aspects? Do you want the guy who's going to value the relationship beyond just what happens during the buy and sell transaction? And the guy who's going to be really creative and innovative with how he markets your listing so that you have a fun experience and you get the most out of your home. Or do you want the outfit where you're going through some difficult stuff? Maybe you're going through a divorce. Maybe you have to put a parent in an assisted living facility and that there's real emotion there and there's real difficult decisions that you have to make through that. And you want someone who's going to understand that and be empathetic and support you through that process, knowing that it's not just about the transaction, it's about the roller coaster of emotions that you are going through. And you need someone who's gonna have your back through that process. So the customer knows where they're at. And the goal with marketing is to be able to connect the right customer with the right brand for the right reasons, so that what the business authentically brings, that value, that experience, that is going to align with what the customer values and what they want to experience. And when those two sync up and they can both operate in their authentic selves, that's what creates a really great experience. That's what creates a loyal, raving customer. So we realized for ourselves and our brand that what we brought to the table wasn't the prettiest website. It wasn't the site that ranked the highest online. Like what we brought to the table was being able to figure out your authentic brand and articulate it in a clear and compelling way so that you give customers a reason to choose you. That is our sweet spot. That is what we're really great at. And we want to work with people who that's what they're looking for, that's where they're at in their life. And they want to do it with people where we can be real and we can talk about the hard stuff, and there is no pretense and there is no veneer here. It's like we're not here to, you know, put on some big show. It's like we're here to be real and authentic and admit that running a business is really hard and standing out is really hard. And dealing with all the demons inside of you as an entrepreneur is really hard. And carrying that weight and that responsibility is really hard. And there is a tax that it takes on your family and on your marriage, and we've experienced that and we've lived that and we're willing to talk about it. We're willing to share that and we're willing to meet people where they're at in the journey. So when we finally get to this point of like, okay, here is who we are, here's this brand, there is this peace and clarity that comes from it. And then that's when you can start to align what you say and how you operate and what people experience. And it's not hard. Once we had this breakthrough, I was able to sit down and start writing content and start creating a website and start positioning ourselves as a business where I was like, Yeah, I'm really proud of this and I feel good about

Two Ways To Get Outside Perspective

Amy Dardis 27:35

this. And this isn't hard. It's not hard to write this because all I'm really doing is just writing my story. All I'm really doing is saying, this is what I've experienced. This is what I've learned along the way. This is what we value, this is how we help. And if you're this person, we can help you through that. And that's fun. There's purpose in that, there's peace in that, there's joy in that. But it first came from being willing to one, recognize that it was really hard to objectively look at my brand from the outside looking in, and being willing to admit that and share that with our customers so that they know that hey, if you're struggling to look at your brand, if you're struggling to articulate it and communicate it and know how to drive that alignment, guess what? I've been there too. We've also experienced this. I resonate with that deeply. And because of that, we want to help you. Because of that, we want to know that there can be this trust and understanding there. And we can help you get to the other side of that. So if you find yourself being a business owner that does feel stuck, that does feel like you're lacking this clarity and authenticity and alignment in your business. One, the do-it-yourself route is take a step back, find someone who knows you and look at your story. Look at the things that have brought you to where you are, look at the things that you value, look at the things that you want in your life, and get an outside opinion of someone who can affirm that for you with an objective perspective. Or number two, if you want help with this process, we can help you there and you can learn more about that at ClearAuthenticbrands.com. But that is all for this episode. I will see you guys next time.