The Tension Between Should And Called

Amy Dardis 0:12

And I'm your host, Amy Dardis. And in this episode, we are talking about the struggle between showing up the way we think we should versus showing up the way we want to or the way that we believe that God is actually calling us to show up. And this has been a lifelong struggle for me, especially as an entrepreneur. So Josh and I started a web design and marketing agency back in 2011. And we really had no idea what we were doing as a business or even as people, really, because we were young, we were still trying to figure out ourselves, we were trying to figure out our marriage, we were trying to figure out just life in general. And then we added a business on top of that. And so for many years, it was a process of just figuring out our own identity, like figuring out who God had created us to be, understanding our wiring, understanding our gifting, understanding what we were called to do and how we were called to create. And through that process, figuring out who we were in Christ and who I was as just a person and as an individual and as a mom. And that journey was pretty messy. And it was a lot of pivoting and going back and forth. And it was looking at what everybody else was doing in their web agency and thinking like, oh, well, that worked for them. So we should try that. And then tried that for a while. And then was like, oh, well, this is this is what somebody else is doing, and that's cool. So we should try that as well. Wrestling with how we were supposed to show up and serve our clients authentically and faithfully, right? Because this was about God's calling on our life. We I got into entrepreneurship, not because I woke up and was like, yeah, I'm gonna be an entrepreneur and I'm gonna show own my own business. I really got into it because those were the doors that God opened for me. It wasn't something I was looking for. It was really something that I felt led to, felt called to. And I actually ran into my husband at a business conference. And we got married after six weeks because we were like, we want to start a business. We're both serious about this. Let's just get married and get this done. But also because we I genuinely like felt like God was saying, this is the person that you're supposed to marry. But that's a different story for another time. So we got into business, started this marketing agency, and as I became more aware of myself and my giftings, and this is over the course of like 10 years, I was also growing deeper in my own walk with God and my own faith and wrestling with what does it look like to be a Christian and run a business? What does it look like to show up in the marketplace as someone who believes in God? As someone who's like, okay, God, if you are Lord over my life and if I want to surrender my life to you, if I want to lay this down, if I want to lay my will down and surrender it to yours and have you be sovereign over my life, what does that look like in my business? How does that change the way that I make decisions, the way that I show up, the projects that we choose, how we choose to structure our business? Because there's a lot of ways to do it. There are a lot of different models, there's a lot of different audiences and marketing tactics and ways of doing business. But what I wrestled with deeply wasn't necessarily what's the right way or what's the best way, but what way is God asking me to do? Like what way is he asking me to lead? And I want that. And it was learning how to lay down my own selfish ambition, my own pride, and really just let him be Lord over my life as well as Lord over my business. And I struggled with that. I felt, I always felt torn, torn between two worlds and almost even torn between two versions of myself, having this authentic, real version of me, and then having this professional business side of me. And there was the disconnect. There was how I showed up with a client on a call when we were talking, when I was networking. And that worked great for me. I was really great at in-person

The Marketing Formula That Worked

Amy Dardis 5:10

sales because I wasn't trying to sell. I was just trying to build relationships and ask questions. And that worked for me. But every time I tried to write my website, every time I tried to create content, every time I tried to record videos, it's like a different side of me showed up. It's like I didn't know how to be human. I didn't know how to be myself. I didn't know how to be authentic. Because in my mind, that's not what worked. That's not what the world taught. That's not how you were supposed to lead. Like you, there were frameworks that you followed. You lead with the problem and you talk and you agitate the problem and you understand your ideal customer. And then you talk about the solution and you talk about your process and you talk about your credibility. And that's what I knew. And that's a rut that I got stuck in very deeply because not only did I follow that formula when I wrote my website content, I followed that formula when I wrote every client's website I ever wrote. And that was a lot. That was a lot of websites. That was a lot of clients. That was a lot of stories of figuring out, okay, how do you write a lead-generating conversion optimized website landing page where you understand who the ideal audience is, you understand what their problems are, you understand the solution, you talk about the process, and then you lead them to the next step. And that is what I knew when I got good at that. I was comfortable with that. I was safe in that. And it worked really well for my clients and their businesses. And I saw their leads and conversions go way up. But when I went to write my website and my story, I felt like a fraud. I felt like an imposter. I felt like I was doing it and I was following the formula and it should work. But inside it felt wrong and it ate at me. And so that led me to always going back and redoing it again and again and again and again. Only I always followed the same formula, the same framework, just different ingredients. And therein lied the problem because that formula, that framework was not what God was asking me to do. That was not the way that I showed up in person. That's not the way I led with in my conversations or in my business. That's just how I knew how to represent myself on a website. And within that specific business, I never knew how to extricate myself from that. But

A New Stirring Toward Faithful Work

Amy Dardis 7:53

in 2023, I felt the stirring that God had laid on my heart to start something new. He was stirring up all these things inside me to want to talk about the things that I have always deeply desired to talk about, which was faith. It was purpose, it was identity, it was business, it was being an entrepreneur, it was all of the ups and downs that we had gone through. It was speaking into the struggle, these things that had gnawed at us, these things that had eaten us alive at times of who am I and how is my identity separate from my business? And where is the intersect and how is it all connected? And where does my faith play into this? And where does God play into this? And these things that I had wrestled with so deeply, and God was like, it's time, it's time, it's time to talk about it. And I was like, No, I don't want to. I don't have this figured out. I'm a mess. How am I gonna do this? I'm working full time, I have a comfortable, safe job that, yes, has some stress, but I'm happy here. I don't want this other thing. And he was like, Nope, it's time, it's time, it's time. And in fall of 2023, I started my YouTube channel. And it was just sitting down and turning on a webcam on like Windows Media Player and just getting into the habit of starting to talk. And I talked about all kinds of things because there was no brand, there was no business, there was no monetization. It was just me having an outlet to get this welling up energy out of me, like this thing that I could not quiet because God was pressing it upon me to start to talk, to start to share. And so I just did it out of obedience, out of surrender, be like, okay, God, if this is what you want me to do, I'm just gonna sit down and I'm just gonna do it so I feel better. And the videos were not great. I stumbled over my words. It was just the beginning. It was just the start of a new journey that I wasn't even aware of where it was going or where it was leading. But over the course of the next year, I started getting more and more into it. I started feeling more and more of a pressing. I started seeing more and more of a connection. And it was in 2024 that God planted this seed for clear, authentic brands. That's when the brand was born and the business idea started to take root. It's when I came up with the name. And it was this idea of building a brand around helping other businesses learn how to be authentic and clear based on their unique wiring, based on their story, based on God's calling on their life, based on being able to articulate that, pull it to the surface, and help them find alignment with their people, their process, their message, their operations, in order to deliver a consistent and authentic experience. Only while that message and that dream had been planted, I had yet to fully figure out how to do it myself. So

Starting Over In Alaska

Amy Dardis 11:19

in November of 2024, God calls us out of Montana, He calls us to Alaska, and He's like, okay, it's time, it's time to go all in on this new brand, this new business. And what followed, what has been following, is this last year and a half journey of me wrestling with how do I show up authentically? How do I find clarity around who I am, who God called me to be, how to show up, how to align my own messaging, my own processes with what I feel like God is calling me to. And it's been a year of wrestling. It's been three steps forward, two steps back. It's been peeling off layer by layer, going back to my own identity and my own understanding of who is God in my life? How has he shaped me? Who is he called me to be? What's he asking me to do? How does this play into my marriage? How does this play into my role as a mom? How does this play into my business? Because all of these things are connected. I don't separate those things because how I run my business affects my life at home. And what happens in my life at home flows over into my business. And that's where I was always trying to disconnect them. I was always trying to just have this business side and this personal side. And it's been realizing that wow, you can't just you can't take the humanness out of it. Like business is filled with people, and people are humans, and everything that we experience, our identity, our gifting, our wiring, our relationships, our work, it's all connected and it's all one. So at the beginning of this journey, I started out doing what I knew how to do, which was reverting back to my old ruts. So in my life, in my quote, real life, showing up in Alaska and starting over with a clean slate and creating new friendships and figuring out how I wanted to embrace the life that I felt God wanted me to have. That was a process. But then in business, I was still copying the behaviors and the customs of this world. I was still following the world's way. I was still looking at what all the experts were saying, and I was looking at this framework, and I was looking at that framework, and I was trying this approach and that approach, and my content reflects that. I have been all over the place publicly with this brand. If you're looking at my Instagram or my LinkedIn or my YouTube, and it was me wrestling internally, afraid, operating out of fear, operating out of scarcity, operating out of doubt, operating just in my own strength, striving, headed straight for burnout because I was not relying on God.

Burnout And Six Weeks Of Surrender

Amy Dardis 14:46

I was not taking up the easy yoke, you know? And I ended up burning out real hard in the summer of 2025. And I hit a wall just because I was like, I was so tired, I was so devastated, I was so discouraged. And I didn't understand why the doors hadn't opened. I didn't understand why nothing was working. But now I look back and I'm like, oh my gosh, thank goodness. Like, thank God, like in his grace and love, thank you, Lord, that you did not open any doors at that time because I was not ready emotionally, spiritually, mentally, none of it. And I just thought that if a door opened, if I finally got some fruit, if I finally got success, then everything would be okay and that would just fix it all. But God cares more about our character than he does our comfort, and he cares more about what he's the big picture, and he sees way more than I do. You know, his thoughts are higher than our thoughts, his ways are higher than our ways, and I just I can't even imagine. And so I laid it all down. I stopped working completely, I stopped striving, and I just started writing every day. I started reading the word every day, praying every day, and just being like, God, I don't know what to do. I'm so lost, I am so broken, I have nothing left, I have no vision, I have no confidence or clarity in myself at all. And I'm just gonna sit here and wait until you tell me what to do. And I really wanted that process to take a weekend, and it ended up taking about six weeks, but little by little the fog did begin to clear, and I started getting the same affirmation, the same promptings, the same direction that I had been for years, and it came back to this tell your story, talk about the things you want to talk about, talk about what's really happened, talk about what you've learned along the way, talk about business, talk about faith, talk about your identity, talk about your purpose, talk about your calling, talk about the things that matter, and do it in a way that aligns with your natural wiring and your natural gifting.

Why The Podcast Finally Fit

Amy Dardis 17:31

And so at that point, I felt like God was saying start the podcast. And so I started this Building a Clear Authentic Brand podcast in September of 2025, and I started sharing my story. I started just turning on the mic, didn't even use a camera at the time, and I just started telling my journey and the stories of building the marketing agency and the stories that working for a gas and welding distributor and God calling us out of Montana and to Alaska and the ups and downs, and how I've put other things before God, and how I've doubted, and how I've stalled, and how I've been afraid, and how I've wrestled, and I just episode after episode really trying to be like, okay, God, what are you placing on my heart? What is the thing that I'm supposed to share? No idea really of who specifically I'm sharing it with, but just knowing I just needed to start. And through that process, I started processing out loud, but also it started to become the most authentic form of content I had ever created in my life. Just going through and one, finally feeling this piece, like, okay, I'm finally doing what I have wanted to do, deeply desiring to do for years, wondering why we had gone through all of these ups and downs. And I felt like I'd learned a lot about myself, about my wiring, about my gifting, about learning how to run a business with my husband, about how to balance business and marriage and this faith element of realizing like who is God in my life and how does what I believe affect how I show up in business and even how I'm running this business and how I constantly wrestle and I constantly feel torn between the world's way of doing business and what I feel like God is telling me and how He's telling me to do this business. And I finally felt that piece of just like I'm I'm doing it, like I'm finally doing it. I don't know what it looks like, I don't know what it turns into. I don't know how I create a business around this, but I'm finally being able to share authentically. And I look back and obviously I see the progress, and it's still not perfect. I mean, I it it's just a journey, right? Like that's all this is, is just me sharing this journey of three steps forward, two steps back, this wrestling, this layer by layer of knowing that we're just along for the ride, and a lot of it is processing out loud, and none of it is ever perfect. And I look back at some of my older episodes and I'm like, oh, get to the point, Amy. Stop tripping over your words, or seeing how some episodes I'm more teaching and more disconnected, and some episodes I'm more vulnerable and trying to find the balance and all of it. And just realizing that that's just what the journey looks like. That's just what the process looks like. Like I can't just wait till I've got it all figured out and then it's all perfect going forward. Like it really is just one step at a time. Episode after episode, I started to see my voice start to take shape.

Getting Off Social To Hear God

Amy Dardis 21:11

And also through this process, going back to when I started the podcast, that was also when I felt very convicted that God was like, okay, get off social media. And this is something I've wrestled with for years. I have journal entries of me saying, like, ah, I hate being on social media. I hate the pressure, I hate the influence that it has on my life, and I've fasted it and taken breaks from it and felt so much better not having it. And I see these recurring themes and this recurring thing happening over the years. And so God is like, get off social media, don't be distracted for two reasons. One, listen to my voice, listen to my leading. Get all of the other noises and distractions. Actions out of the way. And two, take the time to develop your own voice. See what comes up. See how you start to share. Start to develop it and know that it is your voice. It is your story. It's not somebody else's. You're not copying somebody else's style or format or framework. You are developing your own. And you have to do it without comparing yourself, you know, and so I purposely wasn't listening to other podcasts. I wasn't listening to other books. I wasn't listening to anything that was business related from anyone because I didn't want it to influence this authentic version of me because I had to figure out who is that. If I have this one idea of who I am as an individual, how do I pull that into my business? How do I pull that into my brand so that it really is truly authentic? And the podcast helped me find that. It helped me develop that. And then I started analyzing over all of the episodes and looking at the transcripts and seeing what came to the surface. And then comparing that with the very obvious disconnect between how I was still writing my website, how I was still writing my bios, and realizing that wow, I feel like two different people. I sound like two different people when you listen to my podcasts, but then when you go to my website.

Rewriting Messaging Through Story

Amy Dardis 23:44

And this is part of this, I talk about this clarity alignment accountability framework. And it's this idea of find clarity in who you are, in who God created you to be, in your gifting, in your story. And that's what I started doing is I started looking at my story. I was started looking at my writing and my journal entries and the experiences that I had because God gives us everything that we need. He's orchestrating it all. He has developed things inside of me before I was even aware that there was something to develop. And so I started looking at my own story, which is what I do with brands. I just look at their story and I look at people and I look at their story. I'm like, how are you wired? How are you created? What have you experienced? What have you lived through? It's all in there. And so I forced myself through that process. And in telling my story through the podcast, I started finding even more clarity about that. Sitting down and writing things out as I was experiencing them and journaling, I found clarity through that. But then we come into this alignment piece, which is aligning your people, your process, and your messaging. And so aligning what I say and what I do with who I believe that God is calling me to be. And this is where I have really been like feeling this tension a lot recently of okay, if I am someone who wants to lead with story, I factor in faith. I can't separate faith from my business because it's structural, like it's just it's a part of who I am. It's knowing that okay, if God is Lord over my life, then that then that means something that that should look different. And why would I separate that? Why would I pull him out? And so I started to sit down and look at all the things I'd written over the years, look at all the things I'd shared over the years, and I started to write my messaging. I started to write my website differently. I started to do it the way that I actually do it through story and through just like this is this is what I've lived through. This is what I've experienced. This is what I believe. This is what God has developed inside of me. This is how I help people today. This is how I believe God is calling me to help people today. And that's, and then there's an invitation. And it's like, okay, and if this is something you also find yourself in, if you also are wrestling with this and struggling with this, then here's an invitation. Like, here's how we can, here's how we can work together, here's how I can help you. And it's not at all this formula or this framework that I've been writing for 15 years. And it felt really weird to do that. It felt very like, are you sure? Because the the world says to do it this way. I'm supposed to follow these frameworks. And that's where it just you, it's like the rubber meets the road, right? You come to this conviction point, you come to this point of where is my loyalty? What type of business am I building? Why am I building this business? Is this for me? Is this for the world? Or is this for God? Like, who is going to lead my life? Am I building a God-led, kingdom-minded business? Or am I building a business the world's way? Like, you cannot have two masters. You cannot have divided loyalty. And for 15 years, I have been having divided loyalty. For 15 years, I have been trying to follow God and follow the world. And that tension, that wrestling has torn at me from the inside out. And I have never been at peace because I've always been trying to serve two masters.

The Cost Of Serving Two Masters

Amy Dardis 28:18

And there's two verses that have convicted me of this. And one of them I've mentioned before, because it struck me in one way, and now there's another part of it that is convicting me. And so James 1, 5 through 8, and this is the NLT version. It says, if you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do. I read this verse back in the fall, and this verse convicted me because I was like, I am as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. I am unstable in everything that I do. And I felt that with all the rewrites, with all the iterations, with all the pivoting of looking at this person and seeing that strategy, and oh, that's cool, that works. And then looking at this strategy, and I'm gonna try that. And then flip-flopping back and forth to the point where I'm like, I didn't even know who I was anymore. I didn't know what I was supposed to do or who I was called to be. And I was just lost and confused. It was chaotic. There was a storm in the inside of my soul, and I felt that deeply. But then I recently read this again, and this time I was struck a little bit differently because I said for a person with divided loyalty, and then the loyalty is divided between God and the world. And therein was where I was like, oh my gosh, the reason I'm unsettled, the reason I am blown and tossed by the wind, the reason I'm unstable in everything that I'm doing is because my loyalty is divided between God and the world. I am trying to build a business. I'm trying to do marketing strategies, I'm trying to write my website, I'm trying to figure out funnels and lead gen and messaging and all the things, and who's my primary audience. And I am looking to the world for those strategies. I'm looking at Alex Hermozzi and Russell Brunson and Jim Collins and just Dan Sullivan and these business experts, like worldly business experts. And I'm looking to them for my answer. And then I'm looking at what everybody else is doing, and I'm also paying attention to that. Instead of choosing, like, who am I gonna fix my eyes on? Where does my hope come from? Where does direction come from? Who is going, who is lighting my path? Who's a lamp to my feet and a light to my path? Like, who is that? Lean not on your own understanding, you know, in all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will show you with path which path to take. Seek first the kingdom of God. I'm like, who am I seeking after? Where is my loyalty? And I'm trying to build a kingdom-minded business following the world's ways and the world's strategies. And there's the rub, there's the tension, there's the divided loyalty. And then in Matthew 6.24, it says, No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other, you cannot serve both God and money. And here's the thing: the world's way of doing business is about money. Like, that's what we're after. Like, and not to say that there's not some well-intentioned there, but ultimately the master in that, if you're f following the world's way of doing business, the master of that is money. Or you can decide that I'm gonna follow God. And so if I'm following God, what does that mean? What does that mean for my branding? What does that mean for my messaging? What does that mean for how I show up? What does that mean for being aligned with what he's calling me to do, for how he created me, for how he wired me, for what this looks like played out. And I come back to this over and over again, and to the point where it's almost sickening to see how many years of entries I've been wrestling with this, and how many times it's been the same thing. Like the answer was always there of just this desire to talk about purpose and identity and calling and faith and business and entrepreneurship and marriage, and knowing that those are all connected. And I've been finding a way to disconnect. And I've been finding a way to talk about all those things without actually talking about my story, because my story is messy, my story is ugly. There's a lot of mistakes in my story, there's a lot of back and forth in my story, and my story is not done. I'm trying to build a clear, authentic brand, knowing that it's not built, like it's not past tense, like we're just on the journey. You, if you've been listening to this, if you're following this along, you're seeing that we're just we're in the middle of it. But it's recognizing that I don't think I'm the only one. I think God's called me to this because I think there are other entrepreneurs out there, I think there are other business owners out there that feel this too. This confusion, this internal confusion, this internal chaos of like, oh, I'm supposed to do this and I'm supposed to focus on these things, but I do it and I don't feel peace about it. And it eats at me, but I don't know what else to do. And then in the meantime, it's wearing on you. It's wearing on your confidence, it's wearing on your conviction, it's wearing on your belief, it's wearing on your relationships, it's wearing on your marriage, it's wearing on your family. And you're getting to the point where it's like, man, I've tried everything. I've tried all of these other things. But here's God saying, Who is your master? Where is your loyalty? I've I created you, I called you, I gave you this dream, I gave you these desires, I gave you these experiences, I've brought you these people. I want you to do what I'm asking you to do, the way I'm asking you to do that. I want you to build a kingdom business that's going to impact others and point people to Jesus and give them hope. I want you to be the husband or the wife that I called you to be. I want you to be present and engaged and not letting the stress and the burdom of this world steal your peace and joy. And I have felt every single one of those ups and downs. And every day it is a battle. And every day it is like, okay, who am I? Who am I? And who do I belong to, and what am I called to? And am I going to build this my way? Am I going to build this the world's way? Or am I going to build this God's way? And it's going to look very different. And in order for me to do that, I do have to cancel out the world's inputs because I am susceptible to that. That's dangerous for me. That's tempting for me. I do have to get off social media. I can't handle it. I am too easily influenced by that. The only way I know how to do this is to just lay that down and to just get it out of my life and be free from that. And you know what? Every time I've gotten off social media, do you know how much happier I am? Do you know how much better that is for me? Do you know how much more engaged I am with my family? Because there's not something that's like constantly distracting me. And it makes me think about my time differently and my attention differently and just the days that I'm living in right now. And that's the other part of this is knowing that this is a journey and I'm in it. But it's like, I want to build the business that I want to have today. Not just like, oh, I'm gonna wait until I have all this figured out and then I'll be a better mom or then I'll be a better wife. It's like, no, I don't have all the answers today. I don't know where this is headed, but I know that I can feel peace today. I can feel joy today because my hope is in God. He is Lord over my life, he is leading this, he's in control, and he wants me to be present. He wants me to not worry, he wants me to have peace. That's truth. That's in his word, and I can stand on that because his his word does not return void, his word does not fail, he uses it for our good. He he's he uses what the enemy meant for evil, he uses for our good. And so it comes back to this, okay, finally, like finding this piece of alignment between who I feel like God made me to be, what he's calling me to do, finding how to align who I am in that message and that dream and that conviction with my brand, with my business, with how I talk, with how I present myself online.

Peace Today And An Invitation

Amy Dardis 38:57

And that's taken me 15 years. Taken me 15 years to figure that out. And I'm not sit sitting here saying that, oh yeah, I got it all figured out. It's just like, no, we just we made another step forward. And I I don't have any like strong like close-up hook for this other other than to say if you're on this journey too, if you're also wrestling, if you feel this, you're not alone. I'm right there with you. But also, I don't believe that you're feeling that tension or that confusion in vain. I feel like God's wanting to get your attention. He's asking you to do something different, he's asking you to lay it down, he's asking you to figure out where is your loyalty and who is Lord over your life and who's who's Lord over your business? And is your business yours? Or is it something that God gave you? Are you stewarding it? And what kind of posture do you have towards it? And maybe it's time to wrestle with that a little bit and take some time to be like, yeah, and know that it's not just like, oh, I'm gonna make this decision and then everything's gonna be fine. It's a process, it's a journey. But if you're on that journey, I am too. So we can we can go on it together. So that is everything for this episode. I'll see you next time.