Why The Team Keeps You Stuck

Amy Dardis 0:11

Welcome back to the Building a Clear Authentic Brand Podcast. I'm your host, Amy Dardis. And in today's episode, we are diving into the mindsets, the lies that we believe that keep us stuck with the team that we have, even though we know that's not the team we need. We have people on our team. Some of them are probably really great, but then some of them, you know, there's frustration, there's tension, there's issues, and it's there. You sense that, you know it, it's bothering you, it's weighing you down. But we hold on to them. We keep them. And so I want to dive into why we do that because it's focusing on why we believe what we believe or the thoughts that we have going through our mind that are determining the actions that we are taking or that we're not taking. And so I think there's really three main things that keep us stuck with people when we know that they're the wrong people, when we know we should let them go, we should open up that room for somebody else, someone who's a better fit, but we're afraid. And the first thing that I want to dive into is this idea that we believe that we're gonna stay with the people we have because we're not gonna be able to find the right people, right? Like good people aren't out there. Like this is just the best of what we have. And we have this settling mentality, we have this scarcity mentality that just says that no one out there wants to work. And so that's that's the soundtrack that's going through our mind saying that the people we have, that's it's the best we're gonna get. And if we let them go and we open it up for somebody else, we're not gonna get anyone better. But that is a limiting belief. Like that is a belief that keeps us stuck and it keeps us holding on to the people we have, because what we want to do is we want to shift into this abundance mindset. We want to shift into this idea that there are people out there who want to work with for you, who are gonna thrive working for you, who have the skill sets to work for you. But if we don't ever make room, if we're not ever willing to let go of what we have to make room for what's gonna come next, then we're never gonna get to experience that blessing. Or sometimes there's a blessing that comes in the sense that that wrong person that we're too afraid to let go of, they finally leave on their own. And then we're kind of forced into that situation. We're forced to then have to go out and look for somebody. But it's that feeling of relief. It's that feeling like they left and it sucks and it hurts. But at the same time, you're like, oh my gosh, thank goodness. Like everybody around here is relieved. The whole environment shifts. And now we can move forward. Now we can find that new person. And then if we have a process that we know attracts the right people, that we're able to filter and qualify and know that the person that we're bringing on board is going to be a good fit, man, that is when the blessing comes. That is when we get to experience this change. And then we look back and like, why did I stay stuck? Why didn't I just have the courage to let them go when I should have? Because I could have saved myself all this time. So look if you're in that situation and you have that person, is that one of the mindsets that's keeping you stuck, or that you just believe nobody else wants to work? But here's the thing with that we are designed to work at our human core. We have gifting, we have a desire, we have abilities, we want purpose in our life, we want meaning, we want impact, we want significance. The problem is most of us have veered off of this course so far and in so many different directions, it's hard to believe that we ever even felt like that, that we ever experienced that, because we get so weighed down by being in roles that don't align with our gifting. And so we become apathetic and we become discouraged. And the idea of going to work doesn't sound appealing. It doesn't sound fun, but nor does sitting at home and being idle. Like that doesn't serve anyone either. I think we feel good when we feel like we've done something, that we've made an impact, that we've worked hard. And it's just this process of coming back to that, of realizing you do have specific gifting. And when you're in roles that align with that, it makes a huge difference. And there is a process of this clarity piece of figuring out what am I good at. Or as an employer, looking at candidates through a different lens and saying, What are you good at? Maybe you don't even know what you're good at, but we can find it in their story. We can find it through the evidence of what they've experienced, how they come alive, the things that they're passionate about. It's all there. It's just a matter of being able to pull out the threads and see it differently to know, okay, you're gonna thrive in this organization. You're gonna excel in this role. And it's gonna make all the difference for you as a business owner as well as them as an individual. So, second mindset that kind of keeps us stuck is sticking with the devil we know, right? It's like we have this idea that we can't afford to replace or get rid of someone, or it's just easier to deal with what we already know. So let's say you have someone in a role and they're either the wrong person in the right seat, which can be really challenging because it means that they actually are really good at their job. And we want to hold on to that because they are bringing benefit and value into the organization. And so they're because they're good at their job, we then compromise on the other side and we deal with their bad attitude. We deal with the friction and the tension that they cause with the rest of our team members. And it does weigh us down. It does keep us stuck, but we just think, oh, it's not that bad. Like we can deal with it. It's, I'm just making a bigger deal than it really needs to be. No, it really is keeping you stuck, and you will never get to where you really want to be while you have that person in that seat. Or on the opposite side of that is you have a person who everyone really likes, and they're great, and they're fun, and they're kind and they're nice, and you enjoy them as a human because they do share your values, but they're in a seat that doesn't align with their gifting. And so they're not excellent at their job. So there's mistakes and there's issues, and then that puts more pressure on the rest of your team to pick up the slack. And at first it's okay because we like them, but after a while, it takes its toll and the frustration level starts to rise. And we're never able to get to where we need to go because that person is not meant to be in that seat. And that affects them too, because they're sitting in a seat where they realize they are not great at this. They realize that they're stuck and they're not getting it the way they need to be, and they're not enjoying it. I think being stuck in the wrong seat is one of the most frustrating things for an individual because I've I've been that person in the wrong role, doing stuff that I was good at, but I wasn't great at. And so you I started a new job and it felt exciting, and I'm learning and I'm growing, and you know, I'm committed and I'm excited, and you start off strong. And then about six months in, the novelty wears off. You kind of get everything figured out, you get the dynamics of the team figured out, and then reality sets in. And that's when, okay, I had to be there at seven, and I'm walking in at 7.03, 705, 710. I'm clocking out. I'm supposed to clock at four, and I'm clocking out at 358, 355, because I just I couldn't wait to get out of there. And I dreaded going there because I knew I was just gonna be sitting at that desk doing this work that it's like, yeah, it wasn't hard, but it wasn't exciting, it wasn't challenging, it wasn't thrilling, and it didn't feel like I was bringing the most value that I could to it. And that weighed on me and that weighs on us over time. So we end up with a individual who is either in the wrong role or they just are the wrong person for our company. And so we're just like, well, we we know what to expect with this person. It's like being in a bad relationship that you know you should leave, but you stay with them because it's just easier to deal with what we know rather than to face being single and the unknown. I mean, the unknown is scary, right? To have to walk into that and be like, well, I don't know what's gonna come next. And because I don't know that, it's easier to just deal with what I do know. But it over time, it just it continues to hurt our productivity. It continues to hurt our trust, it continues to hurt what we're able to accomplish. And it's these little cuts. Oftentimes in a business and in a culture, it's death by a thousand cuts. It's the little compromises we make a little bit at a time so that months will go by and we won't really notice it. But then eventually we wake up and we're like, man, how did I get here? What did what did I do? Because now I'm looking around at my team and I'm looking around at my processes and I'm looking around at my clients, and I feel stuck, I feel trapped. This isn't what I signed up for, and I'm not sure where I took the wrong turn. I mean, isn't that such a reality for us all? And it's those little compromises, and it's that weighing down day by day, month by month, and year by year, even that is what can ruin businesses from the inside out. And then this third mindset is the idea that okay, we recognize that they're the wrong person or they're in the wrong role. We know that there are issues. We've chosen to just stick it out, but we're we're choosing to stick it out because we think this person is gonna get it. This person is gonna change. So they just need a little bit more training. They just need a lot another chance, they just need a little bit more time, they just need better measurables, they just need more perks, they just need a couple more dollars an hour. It's this idea that someone is going to change because we're trying to coach or train something in them that has reached its max. Like that is the best you're gonna get. And you often see this at between the one and the two-year mark, where you're the first year, it's it's harder to see, especially the first six months, because they are brand new and you do wanna give them that time and that space to grow because we don't expect people to come on board and have it all figured out. But probably about that six-month mark, it becomes very obvious. And probably even there's those red flags sooner about the three-month mark, where you're like, okay, I've hired other people in your role before, and they've picked up on this a lot faster. Or man, we're having a lot of issues with how there's miscommunication issues, there's misunderstanding, there's drama that I don't understand why we're having to deal with this, why these things keep coming up. And because we're dealing with this people drama, it's really keeping us from being able to do what we're actually trying to accomplish with this role and within our business. And so it's all of this comes from like these this core root of fear, like being afraid of the unknown, being afraid that the right people aren't out there, being afraid that if you let this person go, what's gonna happen to your business in the meantime, or what that gap is gonna look like before we let someone in. But a lot of it too comes back to this fear of not being confident in our own ability to attract the right people, or being able to filter and qualify them the way that we need to, because we've ended up with the wrong people too many times. And so there's something in our process that's broken, but we don't really know what it is. We can't really pinpoint it to say, what am I doing, or what am I saying, or what is somebody else saying? What am I missing in this interview hiring process so that I keep ending up with these hires because they're saying, you know, the right things or they're sounding good in an interview, but then I bring them on board and it's disappointing in reality. They're not who I thought that they were, or this job isn't what they expected it to be, and it's ending in friction, tension, dysfunction, or even turnover, all of which are you know what we want to avoid with our hiring process. So it's coming back and looking at your hiring process. And if you know you have a solid process, if you know exactly what you're looking for, if you know how to ask questions that map back to that criteria, if you know how to structure the process to make sure you're not being misled or dazzled by the things that don't really matter, that you're making clear, consistent, confident decisions, it's gonna change your willingness to let the wrong people go. But honestly, it's going back to the very beginning of this cycle in relationship saying of what if I just got this right from the first time? What if from the very beginning I hired the right person and we avoided a lot of these issues? What would that look like? What would that look like for your business? What would that look like for your team? And when it comes to changing culture or changing how your business operates, one, a lot of it has to do with people. It's people and process, really. If you're gonna look at the root issues of almost anything in your business, it's either a people issue or a process issue more often than not. And so if we're looking at our people issue, it's like, okay, where do people issues start? Well, they start in the hiring process. How do we fix people issues? Well, we have to bring on better people and we have to flush out the wrong ones. And so imagine you have a cup of water, and the cup of water is dirty. It's not fully black. I mean, there's some good water in there, and then there's some dirty water in there. So, just like your team, you probably have some really awesome people on your team. And then you probably have some people who are not so great on your team, and you've kind of just accepted this idea that this is just how it goes. This is just how it has to be. But what we want to do is instead of pouring out all the water or trying to fix what's in the water currently, what we want to do is we actually just want to start pouring in clean, fresh water because that's our hiring process, bringing in the right people, one person at a time. And then we're basically flushing out more of the dirty water by just if you have a cup and fresh water is coming in, eventually you end up with a cup of fresh water without ever doing a whole lot of stuff. So the best way to shift your culture to change performance, to change engagement, to change, you know, turnover and retention, it actually starts with your hiring process. So if we can get that right and know that we're bringing the right people on board, one, it helps us not be afraid. It helps us not be afraid to let the wrong people go because we're like, I'm confident that I can attract, I can filter, I can qualify, I can stand out in a competitive marketplace, I can let this person go so that I can make room for the right people to come in. And then the more of the right people that we have on our team, the better our team's gonna operate together, the more engaged, the more involved, the more productive. And then that is your catalyst for everything else that you're doing. It's your catalyst for better sales, better marketing, better operations, better safety, better compliance. I mean, it really all comes back to your people and looking at even maybe you have managers who are the wrong people. Maybe you have people who are overseeing departments who are the wrong people. And yeah, it's going to hurt to have to deal with that. But in the long run, this absolutely ends up being the biggest catalyst to your growth and success as a business and helping you stand out. And the idea is that we're gonna make our culture so clear. We're gonna make our expectations so clear because this really all comes back to clarity. It all comes back to knowing who are we, what do we believe, what do we value, how do we operate, who thrives in our organization, what are the standards that we hold ourselves to? How do we operate as a company? How do we know what that is, live that out, attract people who want to be in that type of environment, and then be able to better serve our customers going forward. And so the more clear we are on these things, the more there is no room for these other issues to exist. You can't have wrong people in the wrong seats because it's so obvious and it's so painfully obvious that you're forced to address it because of the clear boundaries and the clear expectations that you've set for yourself to begin with. And so if we can get this hiring process right, it helps us kind of change our mindset around why am I stuck with the team that I have? If they're if they're not the team you want, if they're not your ideal team, if they're not your dream team, the question is, why not? And a lot of times that why not starts with what you think about yourself, about hiring, about what's out there, about your process. So if we can change what we believe, then we're gonna start to change how we act, how we go through this process, the standards and the expectations that we set. And by doing that, we change the outcome. We change what our team looks like so that there is no reason that you shouldn't have the best team of employees possible. So if you want help with your training, if you want help with your hiring process, if you want help asking better questions, you can check out Clearauthenticbrands.com slash resources. We have interview questions, we have our hiring system training on there. You can check that out. But that is all for this episode. I will see you next time.