And in today's episode, we are continuing our series on idols in business, idols in entrepreneurship. And in this episode specifically, we are diving into the idol of approval. Well, us seeking approval from stats and from people and from metrics, more so than we're seeking approval from God. And I just like to start with a quick recap on what an idol is. So an idol is an object, an object or a concept that we give a higher priority to than God. It's something we rely on for blessing, help, or guidance instead of God. And it's anything that consumes a person's heart, mind, or devotion more than God. It's anything that we elevate and give power, prominence, influence in our life more than we're giving God that role in our life. And this is easy to do. And this idol specifically has definitely been one that has been a recurring struggle in my life. And as I've said before, I'm kind of just walking through what these have looked like for me, not because I have it all figured out, but because I don't. But I can't imagine that I'm the only one. And I certainly I hope that I'm not, but also I don't want other people struggling with this stuff. Like I don't wish that for people. But this is something that I've always been a people pleaser. I have always been someone who has sought out success, has wanted to please, has wanted to be have recognition and honor. And I am uh actually, I'm in an Enneagram 3. So if you're familiar with the Enneagram, the Enneagram 3 is an achiever. So my very wiring, my very personality actually seeks out success. And it's been a struggle. It's vanity and pride have absolutely been two of the things that I have wrestled with the most. And seeking validation, seeking my own ambition, seeking my own glory, seeking my own gratification, and sometimes, you know, steamrolling other over other people in the process. And the this is, I think as an entrepreneur, right, we we have this sense of wanting to succeed. We we want we want what we're doing to be successful. And we're looking at metrics, we're looking at scorecards, we're posting content, we are seeing if it resonates. Like we're looking at views, we're looking at likes, we're looking at engagement, we are looking at scorecards on leads generated and the marketing that we're putting out there that's actually generating enough interest because of what we're saying. So there's a lot of metrics that are a part of business. There's a lot of stats that we're looking for when we're marketing that are gonna tell us is this resonating? Is this good? Is this working? And I think there's for me, there's been two kind of big struggles with this. So one be I've been consumed with stats and metrics. Launching this business, I think I I mean, both of my businesses, this has been the thing, but I I marketed differently with my first business than I am with this current business. So when I first started this business, I just came out of the gate just full charge, you know, on every single platform, doing YouTube videos, posting on LinkedIn, posting on Facebook, Instagram, and even Twitter, trying to create content for those specific platforms, posting daily, using scheduling platforms, like pushing stuff out there. And I it was a race to the bottom, kind of like it was just like how fast can I generate content? How fast can I get this information out there? And so I'm like putting out there, doing videos and doing carousels and doing reels and written posts and everything, just trying to get some traction, just trying to get some engagement. We were running ads as well, so writing laning pages, writing ad copy, doing creative, trying to generate leads and just like push, push, push, push. And honestly, we got nothing in return. Like for a good six months, there was there was like zero engagement. And the two struggles here were one, I was just trying to do what I thought would work. I was not thinking very clearly or carefully about being authentic, which is ironic because I was trying to build a clear authentic brand. Yes, that's I mean, none of us are perfect, and this was a huge learning curve and come to Jesus moment by coming face to face with this very ugly truth to say, wow, I I don't even deserve to have any of this, have any kind of engagement because I'm just I'm not even being true to who I am. And so in the marketing world or in the business building world, it can be easy to fall into this trap of trying to create content, trying to market, trying to do things for the reaction, for the engagement, because it works, because you get something back, because you get a video goes viral, or there's tons of comments, or there's tons of engagement, and it feels good. And it's like, oh yes, something is working. Like we are looking for that. Except that it's it's shallow, it's fake, it's not real, it's not sustainable, and it's a big bump for a little bit and then it goes away. But it's it's easy to kind of be tempted to take that strategy. Like, what is trending right now? What are the hashtags? What are the ways of creating content that is like the popular thing to do right now? And this is changing all the time, which also makes it pretty exhausting, is trying to keep up with everything. And so these trends can work for the short term, but it's it's not actually creating trust, it's not creating authority or credibility or relationship, it's just capitalizing on an opportunity. And so here I am trying to take that strategy instead of taking the time to really think about who I am and what I want to bring to the table and how I want to show up in the marketplace and how God is calling me to show up, like how He created me, the gifts that He gave me, the voice, the passions, the style, being who I am and being confident in that, even if I don't get the level of engagement that I that I want, that I I want to just post stuff or write a landing page or an ad copy and put it out there and it just work and it resonates, and people say, Yes, that's good, and yeah, that means something. Cause I'm looking for that approval. I'm, you know, when I put put out YouTube videos or when I put out Instagram stuff or podcasts, it's like, yeah, there's there's a part of me that's just like, okay, I'm looking at the stats. I'm how many views do I have? How many downloads do I have? How many followers do I have? How many comments or likes do I have? And wanting that reaction to validate what I'm doing. And that's that's normal, that's human. But the other side of that is God saying, Who are you doing this for? And why are you doing it? Are you doing it to be successful? Are you doing it to make money? Are you doing it for people to notice you and agree with you? Or are you doing it because I called you to do it? Are you doing it because you trust me more than you trust all of these other things? And so I was in this season of doing all the things and putting everything out there and every day checking like, do I have more followers? Do I have more likes? Do I have did anyone look or at my post or react to it or engage with it? And I was getting so frustrated because no, nothing, that wasn't happening. But here I was not doing authentically, I was just trying to tailor and temper my style, my voice, my message to just what I thought would work, to just whatever the popular strategy was, whether it was do this DM strategy or do this free guide download strategy or do this real strategy and have this like compelling hook and all of these tactics that were not authentic to who I was. And that became this wrestling point to say, am I willing to show up authentically even if it doesn't work? Like, what's what's the right thing to do here? And I was wrestling because when I was trying to do these other strategies and tactics, I didn't feel good about myself. I didn't feel like it aligned with who I was, but I was like, well, this is just what I have to do. This is just what works. And so there was this justification. So here I'm compromising what I believe, I'm compromising my values and my conviction and trying to justify it and going through these motions, burning myself out in the process, not proud of what I'm putting out there. And honestly, thankfully, God didn't open any doors. He didn't bless that because there was a bigger lesson there for me to learn, which was learning to show up authentically, learning to show up how he created me. And then breaking free from this dependence on these stats, from this dependence on what the stats or what the engagement told me about the value of what I was doing. And so I get to this breaking point where nothing is working. I'm tired, I'm burnt out, and I've shared about this before. And I question everything. I question what I'm doing, I question whether God really called me to do this, whether anything I have to say is even right. I'm I'm questioning everything. And so I take this time to really just take a step back and stop doing and start reflecting and start listening and start praying. And to see when all the deaths settled in in the quiet, in the silence, when no one else is around, when no one else is looking, what was there, what was left, what was in my heart, what was this conviction there? And I came to this conclusion that I needed to go through with it. Regardless of the stats, regardless of the engagement, regardless of any kind of reaction, I didn't want to live my life not seeing this through. I didn't want to live my life not showing up the way that I wanted to, talking about the things that I wanted to, the way that I wanted to, the way that I felt like God had been shaping me and molding me my whole life. And this, I'd I'd been fighting that always, fighting how to show up professionally, but still faithfully. Fighting how I combine this love for Jesus, this belief that how we work and how we operate and how we live and the way that God wired us is all connected. Talking about our unique giftings, but also talking about processes and messaging and hiring and frameworks and finding this middle, being my myself, my passionate, nerdy, I mean, strategic but also emotional self, like just who God made me to be. And I realized that I just spent so much of my life trying to do it the world's way, trying to do it the way that I thought I was supposed to, trying to be somebody that I thought other people wanted me to be, trying to talk about the things that I thought people wanted to hear about, and always feeling disappointed in myself. And in the end, really just having nothing to show for it, not not being proud of it, and just having a lot of regret of like, what if I had done this then? What if I had started showing up the way that I want to years ago? What would my life look like? And everything in its own time, right? Like everything for everything, there is a season, and it's all been part of the process. So through all of that, I have been learning and I have been shaped, and all of these experiences have been building up this message, been building up this conviction that leads me to where I am. So I get to this breaking point, and I'm like, okay, one, even if nobody else cares, even if if nobody else ever understands, even if I put myself out there and do this podcast or build this brand, and no one else gets it or sees it or wants it or resonates with it, it doesn't matter because I'm I know I'm supposed to do it. I know that God called me to this. I know that he's asking me to do this. I know if I stop this tension is going to build inside of me and it is gonna wreck me from the inside out, and I'm not even gonna be able to control it. It is it is gonna consume me. And so I was like, okay, well, I have to stop worrying about what I think people want to hear, or or how I think I'm supposed to show up. And I need to really be confident in the path that's led me here. And that's what I did. I just I just spent a lot of time just reflecting on the journey that has gotten me to where I am today and the experiences, the lessons, the mistakes, the regret, and realizing that okay, like I just don't want to look back and regret anything, but I don't want to look back and wish I had shown up differently. Like if I look back, I want to know I I put it all out there on the line. Even when no one was listening, no one was watching, no one was caring. Because I had this such strong conviction because I had this belief, because I had this calling, and it really came between just me and God, you know, and it was like, okay, God, I believe that you have brought me here. I believe that you have given me the this gifting. I believe you have given me these ideas, these experiences. And I want to honor you with all of that. I want to do what you're asking me to do, regardless of what stats say, regardless of what views say, regardless of what downloads say, and trusting the process, like trusting the fact that you're gonna open doors in your own timing, because I believe I believe in this. And even if you don't, even if nothing ever happens, I want to know that I I gave it everything I had, I didn't give up, I didn't stress out or burn out in the process, that I stayed faithful, that I I kept believing through it, and that it was just it was just obedience, it was just surrender to say, God, your your approval matters more than what anyone else thinks. And that's a daily battle. That's that's a daily thing to wake up and say, okay, let's do this again. Like, and it it's hard to train yourself to to not look at the stats and and to not look at other things. And there were things that I had to do to I there were things I had to let go of. I am not on all the platforms anymore. I'm not on hardly any platforms anymore. It was too distracting, it was too much of a temptation, it was too consuming. And I'm actually gonna talk a little bit more about that in the next episode. So stay tuned. But I I had to pick my platforms, I had to pick my strategy in a way that was authentic to the gifting that I had, that was authentic to me and how I want to show up and how it plays into my life. I had to decide what that was gonna be, which for me was this podcast, and think about all the topics. I mean, I went through journal entries for the last 10 years and reread all the different themes, all the different things that have come up, and there were patterns over and over and over again. I mean, I've been journaling about a lot of the same things ever since I was in my early 20s. And so I was like, okay, clearly there's there's something here. Clearly, this is these are the things that I need to be talking about and focusing on and incorporating into it. And so I like mapped out, mapped all this stuff out of what what am I gonna do? How am I gonna how am I going to show up? What are the things I'm gonna talk about? And in just making this commitment to myself and to God that no matter what happens, no matter if I get a hundred thousand downloads or zero, I'm going to see this through. I'm going to keep showing up. And I'm gonna not even worry about what the stats say or what the feedback is or anything because it's it's not about the outcome, it's about the input, it's about the obedience and just trusting that sometimes the stats and the metrics aren't they're they're good indicators, I think. But anything can happen, I guess would be my thing. Like with God, all things are possible. So with God, it's like he could open a door at any on any day, at any time, in any situation. And it's my job to be obedient to what he's calling me to do, to plant generously and to keep planting, because we do not reap in the same harvest that we or in the same season that we sow. So it's like, okay, I'm in a season of sowing, and you keep showing up and you keep planting the seed and you keep doing the work and you stay consistent and you keep your eyes on Jesus, you keep your focus on Jesus the whole time, every day. And God takes that, and He's the one who brings the rain, He's the one who can create a harvest, who can create a multiplication. And I'm believing for that, I'm trusting for that, or whatever else happens, if it's not what I think is gonna happen, which that's okay. Like very rarely in my life have anything turned out the way that I think that it's gonna happen. But I've learned that it's always better his way. So just whatever happens along the way, just choosing to trust that, but having to just daily fight this battle of like, okay, this is this is not for what other people think. This is not for the crowd's reaction, this is not for the popularity or the stats or the metrics. And I feel like God challenges me in that, in the sense that honestly, right now I am, I believe I'm recording a lot of these podcasts and working through this message, and he's allowing me to do this in this season and in the quiet and in the silence, so that I'm not tempted by other people's reactions. Like when I can sit down in in a quiet room, there is nobody's body language I have to read or react to. There's no faces, there's no there's no one in the room. Like it, it is just me and my mic and my camera, and and I can say and share what's on my heart just completely and authentically, and it's not always as smooth or articulate as I would like it to be, but it's real, it's authentic. If we were sitting down and having a conversation across the table from each other, this is exactly what you would get. And I like that, you know. I I I like just this conversational feel, like, hey, what is what's on my heart that I feel called to share, that I feel led to share, and just trusting that God's gonna use that however he wants to, and it's not up to me to decide. So that is all I have for you today. As always, you can learn more at ClearAuthenticBrands.com. That's all for this episode. See you next time.