And in today's episode, we are kicking off our series on idols in business and the specific ones that I like personally have stories about that I've wrestled with. And so today's episode, we are diving into our business being an idol and what it looks like when we put business before everything else, before God, before family, before joy and peace. And just to give a quick definition. So the definition of an idol is an object or an abstract concept that is given a higher priority than God. It's something that we rely on for blessing, help, or guidance instead of God. It's anything that consumes a person's heart, imagination, or devotion more than God. It's any good thing that we elevate to a position of being the main thing in our life. So there are all kinds of things that can become idols and all kinds of good things that can become idols. But God is supposed to be number one in our heart, in our mind, and our soul and our strength in our life. Like God says, you know, you should have you shall have no other gods before me. Like, do not make for yourself an idol. Like put nothing before me. Seek me first with all your heart. Like come first to me. And in business in life, business is very consuming. It is very distracting. Now I love business. I love the world of entrepreneurship. I love how businesses run and operate. I love that everybody has their own unique story, their own background, their own niche, their own market, their own thing that makes them unique. And it is a beautiful way for us to use our God-given giftings and talent and strengths to develop, to contribute, to impact, to make a meaningful difference in this world while being able to provide for a family, while being able to connect in relationships. Like business truly is amazing and I am so passionate about it. So an idol is not something that is necessarily bad, but it is the level of importance and priority and influence and power that we give it in our life. And I have given my business everything. I, and this is unfortunately not something that I have only just struggled with once. But when I first left being an employee and went into the corporate, or sorry, went left the corporate world and went into being a full-time entrepreneur, I was very excited, as most of us are when we start our business. And I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I left the corporate world when I was in my first trimester of being pregnant with our second child. And I had been praying for this door to open for the last year. And for months and months and months, like this was a desire on my heart. God also affirmed it through different connections and relationships. And I had absolute peace that I was supposed to leave my job and go full-time in the business. And I really believed that as soon as I went full time, gave it all of my time and energy, that the business was going to grow and flourish and excel. And just once I could just give it 40 hours a week instead of 10 hours a week, that it was really going to take off. And I figured that since God called me to it, then it was it was going to be blessed. It was doors were going to open and God was going to make a way. And I ended up going into one of the hardest seasons of my life that lasted for quite a few years, uh, significantly for at least the next probably year and a half. I think I was emotionally and relationally immature. I was a young mother. I was a young wife. I didn't know myself very well at all. And so here I was trying to figure out all of these different fronts in my life. I was trying to navigate a marriage where I was actually married to my business partner. So my husband and I were in business together. We've we've always been in business together. So we were trying to navigate our business. We were trying to navigate our marriage. We were trying to navigate being parents of young kids and and not doing that super well. We were trying to navigate just our own spiritual journey of like growing and understanding God and our faith and relationships and connections. And it was none of it was going well. It was, it was a very, very stressful time. And so our, I think both of our approaches, honestly, both of our mindsets at the time was that our business was the source of our frustration. Like if we could just get our business figured out, then everything else would get better. Like if we could fix the business, then that would alleviate some stress and some pressure, that would bring in some income, that would free create some margin, that would create some space, that would give us room to breathe so that we could be more present with our kids. We could be more present with each other. And I would say this is a very normal, logical way of thinking about these things. And so we were like, okay, let's just focus on our business because we didn't have enough leads coming in, we didn't have enough income coming in. We were so broke. Like we were just, I mean, we had overdrawn personal accounts, we had overdrawn checking accounts at the same time. We barely had enough money for food. And we were just like, okay, this is it was so stressful. It was so like we just felt like failures every single day. And that was bad enough. Like that was bad enough trying to navigate that season. But also then having a two-year-old, having a new baby, and then Josh and I were just 100% not on the same page, not connecting, not not enjoying ourselves. Like this season of my life had very, very little joy and basically no peace. So me as an individual, I was raging on the inside. I was so angry at myself, at my life, at some, you know, things, things that were had been triggered from my own childhood after now that I had become a parent. I was seeing some tendencies in myself that I did not like. I did not know how to communicate what I wanted. I did not know how to be real or be vulnerable with with anyone, including my husband. And so this season just was filled with anger, bitterness, resentment, disconnect, stress. And I mean, I I I hate the fact that I I don't think I don't think we ever laughed. I think we were so serious. We were so stressed. We were so just consumed with this this business because nothing in our life was working. And we just felt like, well, if we figure out the business, then we'll figure out everything else. And we would, you know, get up and work all day long. And I would never rest. We would not have fun. We would not relax. We just would grind, grind, grind. Because honestly, we felt this pressure of like, we didn't deserve to rest. We didn't deserve to take a break. We didn't deserve to have fun because we we hadn't earned it. We were not worthy of it. We were failing each other. We were failing our family. We were failing at everything. And when you're failing, you just the only thing to do is to work harder. And that just that did not work out. That continued to lead to more and more disconnect, more and more just depression, more and more anxiety, more and more struggle. And the people around us started to notice, and they're like, something is going on. Because at this point, we were also isolating ourselves. And I think it's easy to get to a point where you're so ashamed. You're so embarrassed. You're so just like feel like everybody else has their life figured out and you don't, that it is just hard to be around other people because you are just faking it. You're just pretending. Because you don't want anyone to know how bad things really are. But you also it you don't want to tell anyone. And it's just you're stuck, you know. It's like you want to be around people because then maybe for a second, maybe for an hour, you could not think about the mess that is your life. And but then it was just like you just like didn't even have the energy to do that, didn't even have the like the capacity to to to pretend anymore. And so our our our business just like wasn't working, our marriage wasn't working, like our home life was not good. And I didn't know how to go to God. I mean, I I have journal entries from this season of my life of just day after day. Like I was so just brokenhearted. I was so hopeless. I was so just like, God, please help us to like make enough money so we can buy food. I mean, it was please help us to like figure this stuff out and and have fun and and like love each other and and do this stuff. And like, why is this happening? Like, why is why are we going through this season? Like, where is what am I doing wrong? Where is my sin? Where like what do I need to learn through this that I'm not learning? And help me to learn it faster so that I can get out of this mess. And that was, I mean, that was months and months of that. Like a it was like a downward spiral, and then it was like a hitting a rock bottom, really, really dark, ugly place. And then it was a very slow journey back up. So it was it was not the the spiral didn't happen all at once, and getting ourselves out of it took took years because there was so much that we had to do. So I didn't I didn't know how to put God first. Like I this this season, this this difficult season really was the first time I had ever hit rock bottom. And it was the first time that a lot of these really bad things that had been running my life that I I just I honestly wasn't even aware of. Like all of these mindsets and thought patterns and habits and this anger and this bitterness and this inability to connect, it was all buried and I was blind to it until I went through this season and it brought a lot of things to the surface. And this very, very ugly season was me finally looking at myself in the mirror and and really seeing the mess that I was because until then I I honestly, it sounds terrible, but I honestly thought that I would had it pretty well together, and I really didn't. And so this season is where okay, so all this yucky stuff comes to the surface, and I'm like, wow, I have a freaking mess to deal with. I am not okay. I have some major issues. I don't know myself, I don't know my strengths, I don't know, I don't, I don't know anything. I don't like I don't know who God is in my life. I don't know who I am as an adult or as a mom. And that right there, like that was the beginning of change, was just seeing this ugly mess before me and being like, okay, I have some work to do. Like it's it's time to get to work. And through that, you know, God really started to to heal and to restore and to break through and to show me who he created me to be and to show me my strengths and my giftings and what I was good at. And I had put all of this hope in myself and in our business, and that if I could just figure out my business, like our business, everything else would work out. And what God taught me through this process was that I had to first figure out myself before I was ever gonna have a chance at figuring out my business. And so that was like huge mindset shift number one is is me coming kind of face to face with the fact that I I had no idea who I was, I had no clue about my own identity as an individual, my own identity as as a Christian, as a child of God, none of it. And by finally one recognizing that I didn't know, and then just getting to a place where I'm like, okay, I can start here, I can start working on this stuff, I can start figuring out what do I what am I good at? What do I enjoy doing? What is fun? What's causing me to be angry all the time? What do I what do I believe? What do I want in my life? And it was this internal look at my life that is where I stopped. I I realized that I have to figure out myself first before that will ever impact the business. And so by starting to focus on that, by starting to focus on me getting better mentally, spiritually, emotionally, relationally, starting to work on my marriage outside of my business, recognizing that I was not a good mom and I needed help, I needed mentorship, I needed guidance in what it meant to be a good mom, what it meant to be a healthy parent, what it meant, I needed advice. I needed, I couldn't figure it out all on my own. And so I started to work on these areas in my life that had nothing to do with my business. And through that process, our business started to turn around because I started to figure out what I was good at and I started to change the way that I approached people and I changed the way I approached relationships. And I realized that I needed to get my life figured out. I needed to get these other areas in my life, that was far more important than my business. And I had just wrapped myself up that my business was the answer. My business was the hope. My business was what was gonna change everything. And if I could just grind it out long enough, if I could just figure all of that stuff out, then I could worry about all this other stuff and get it fixed. And it ended up being the opposite. It ended up being, God said, No, like, you know, seek me, like like come to me, let me do a work in you, like recognize how much of a mess you are, like sur, like surrender this, this importance and this power that you have let your business have over your marriage, over your identity, over your over your parenting, over your home life. And then allowing it to to get better and to heal and to fix my business in the process. And there's a verse that I think there's two verses that really kind of stayed with have stayed with me, but really held me through this season. So one is Romans 15, 13, which is may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. And so I love this verse because one, I had no joy and no peace. None. Like that did not define my life, that did not define my heart at all. And it says, May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, which means that the only way I was gonna get joy and peace in this season was that I had to trust in him. And that when I did that, I was gonna overflow with hope, which again, I was putting hope into my business, and I had no joy and no peace. But then this verse says, okay, put your hope in him, put your trust in him, and then you're gonna overflow with hope, and your life is gonna be filled with joy and peace. And so this verse then became this like this battle cry of like, okay, what does it mean to really live like that? What does that verse mean for my life? And where am I putting my priorities? Because when I'm putting my business before everything else, like my life is literally crumbling around me. And I was choosing to grind and to work and to stress over joy and peace because my hope was in my business. But then God reminds me, okay, my hope needs to be in him. My hope needs to be in him. That is where joy and peace come from. And I desperately wanted joy and peace in my life. I desperately wanted joy and peace in my home. I wanted joy and peace in my business. I did not want to walk around having to pretend that things were okay. I wanted them to actually be okay. And I had to start somewhere. And in this grinding season of trying to make everything work, God wasn't, he wasn't opening doors in my business. Like he wasn't, he wasn't allowing these things to happen. Because if he had, if he had like rewarded this mindset, rewarded these bad habits, then I would have never learned. And I would have continued to be this empty, angry, stressful person instead of being able to look at my life 10 years later and have a wonderful marriage and have a wonderful home life and and be the mom that I want to be and know that there is joy and peace in our heart. And even with that, I there's that was that was the first major season. And so the second major season, which was probably equally as hard of a season, just different, was when I launched this business, which is when I launched this Clear Authentic Brands business. And again, it was something new and something I was trying to get off the ground. And it was so easy to revert back into this grind, grind, grind. Like, like I have to make this business work. I have to work 12 hours a day. And so I was. I was working 12 hours a day. I was wasn't eating throughout the day hardly, because I wasn't walking away from my computer. I wasn't working out, I wasn't leaving the house. I wasn't making dinner until seven, eight, nine o'clock at night. I could barely have a conversation with my children because I was so consumed with this business and what I was trying to make happen. And while my life was not the mess that it was before, like I really had grown and developed in these areas. Unfortunately, it was, it was still easy to kind of like revert back to this, these old habits of like, okay, I have to grind, I have to put my hope in this business, I have to, you know. And again, it it didn't it didn't last nearly as long because I think it's one of those things where it's like, oh yeah, I remember this lesson. Oh yeah, I remember this season. Oh yeah, I remember that God has seen me through this before and he will see me through this again. And what did I learn last time? What did I learn about his his goodness and his faithfulness and and what did he teach me about that? And I was like, oh yeah. I remember he taught me that I needed, I needed to to know, like to look at myself internally and to look at what kind of mom am I being and what kind of wife am I being and what does my home life feel like? And and let's let's make sure all of that is good because none of those things are more important than my business. Like, you know, and so it was like this this lesson was it was easier and faster to learn, you know, the the second, third, fourth, fifth time around. It gets easier, it gets faster because the first time was so hard and so real and so impactful. But just as we kind of grow and as we get away from that season, it's we kind of forget, we kind of forget how intense it was and how the the habits that led us there to begin with. And so, like once again, I was choosing choosing to grind and trying to put my hope in my business instead of remembering, okay, nope, God, you are you're the one who calls me to this. Like, if if you call me to this, which I believe that you do, I believe that you have, then I'm gonna do everything I can to work hard and to have good, you know, be productive and to have good boundaries and and to to make the most of my time, to steward well, to to use my resources to the best of my ability. But at the same time, you do not want me to sacrifice my marriage or my kids or my home life. You don't want me to sacrifice my rest or my time with you, or to ever forget, even for a second, that you are the one. You provide seed for the farmer, you provide everything that I need, like everything that you've called me to do. Here I am. And if this is part of your plan, if this is part of your will, that this grows and this flourishes and this succeeds. One, I can trust you in this season that whatever you're teaching me or shaping me or preparing me for, that it's for my good. And I believe that. So I don't need to freak out, I don't need to doubt, I don't need to put it all, all this hope in my business because my hope is actually in you. And if you want this to succeed, if you want this to work, then you're going to open doors, you're going to make a way. Even if there's a waiting period, even if there's time, even if it doesn't work the way I think it's going to work or the way I want it to work, I trust you enough to know that I want your plan more than I want my plan. I want it to work the way you want it to work more than I want it to work the way I want it to work. Because I've understood enough that like your way is always better. Your ways are higher than my ways, your thoughts are higher than my thoughts, and you're sovereign. You are God, you are powerful, you are all-knowing. You love me more than I could ever love myself. You love me and my family more than I could ever even comprehend. And you're not trying to hurt me. And whatever happens, you're going to use it for my good. So if you call me to this business and you want it to succeed, I trust you. If you call me to this and it doesn't succeed, I have to trust you. But my hope will not be in what I think this business can do for me. My hope will be in the fact that even in this season of building, this is my life. Even in this season of building, these days are not wasted. Even in this season of building, it's like my kids will remember that. Like, this is my time with my kids as they grow up. This is my time with my husband. And I don't want to look back and regret even for a second how I spent it. I want to look back on this season and be grateful for the the building season, grateful for the resting season, grateful for the Preparing season and to know that I did it well, to know that I trusted you through it and I found joy and peace along the way because I overflowed with hope because my hope is in you. It is not in a business, not in something that could be be gone tomorrow and didn't even exist a couple years ago. So it's it's a it's an ongoing journey, right? Like it's it's a it's a daily fight, it's a daily thing to remember that okay, like what do I believe about God? And do I believe that that he's over this? And do I believe that he called me to this? And do I believe that I am being obedient to it? And if the answer is yes, then I then I have joy and peace through the process. And I think that's I think that's we what we all want, right? Is just is joy and peace in the process in whatever season that we're in. And I think about Paul and how that like he gave his life to share the gospel, how he he spent his whole life, or not his whole life, but a lot of his life sharing the good news and traveling around. And he was beaten and he was hungry and he was shipwrecked and he was in prisons, and he lived this very hard, uncomfortable life. But he had joy and peace in the process because he trusted in God. Like that, and that's where it came from. He's like, I've learned to be content in whatever situation. Like there were days where I thought I would die because, but it's like he just he was in so many situations that God was literally like, I'm I've got you. And if and if I choose to bring you home, then trust me in that. And if you are shipwrecked or you're beaten or whatever, like I have got you and to have that kind of contentment. And I think it's easy as an entrepreneur to be like, okay, well, I'll be happy or I'll have joy or I'll have peace when this business works, when it's successful, when when everything is going good. And then there's the question of like, okay, well, what if that never happens? But it's like, this is your life. Like, what if, what if I don't wake up tomorrow? What if I only have a year left on this earth? Like, what if how do I want to spend this time, even if my business isn't at the level that I think it should be at, or it doesn't look the way that I think it should be? Does that negate anything in my life? Does that take away from anything in my life? Does it take away from my value as a person, from my value as a mom, is from my value as a wife? Like, no, it doesn't. Like, and that's this finding joy through this process and having that peace, and we can only have it when our hope is in him and when he is at the center of it. Because otherwise we just we experience stress and doubt and fear and and hope hopelessness, honestly, when we put anything but in this case, our business. We when we put our hope in our business instead of in God. So that is all I have for you today. You can always learn more at Clear Authentic Brands.com. That's all for this episode. See you in the next one.